Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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