if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
