can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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