i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i came on her dog
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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