Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
