i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
