Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
