let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize