Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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