I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
