Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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