forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize