No stitches, just platelets and will power
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This toilet bowl is my home.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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