Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
