...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
