We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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