To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
