Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
