I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I want a musical about memes.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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