Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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