so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
