There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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