Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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