we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
