I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
