Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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