dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
