I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
