Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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