And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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