do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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