god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
