I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it was like eating out sand paper
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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