So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
