you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
