Can Purell be used as lube?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize