I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Life is so much better after having sex.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
