When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
