If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
