yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
