Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
