Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
