the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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