So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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