She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I looked at my own cervix.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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