Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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