Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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