he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
