Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
