I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize