You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
