but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
