Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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