i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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