I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
