And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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