I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
