Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
As shirtless as possible
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
