Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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