I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
