But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
