ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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