I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
where am i from again
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize