I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
