I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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