McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
