I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
