i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
