I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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